Was just awoken by asshole downstairs "playing" a bongo & passive aggressive asshole upstairs stomped on the floor. Caught in the crossfire.

Champagne for my real friends. Real pain for my sham friends.

"I think it's hilarious that you two are sober right now" -@iattleson about @n8duke and I

@tenderlove now they are

iPhones are sooo 2008.

90 minutes to find someone to kiss... It's not looking good.

OH: "my family's really smart, but pretty stupid."

I didn't like ear muffs as a kid, but now I think they're totally cute.

I will be so happy when BSG is over. I need some resolution, but this acting is sooo fracking bad.

Dog sitter: ✔. Amtrak: ✔. Clean house: ✔. Eagerness for NYE fun: ✔✔. Hott hott date: no ✔. Need to work on that before midnight tomorrow...

@aphoenix not free to pay, but free to pass.

@evanphx if security is closed that means you get to go thru for free. it's like the 10 minute rule in college.

@mattxmiller if only you could find its face buried in all those menus

Anyone wanna house/dog sit for me on Thursday / Friday / Saturday (jan 1,2,3) so I can go to Portland? Please?

The Heroes "webisodes" (cringe) are teh total suck. Srsly like some bad high school video project. Totally low rent.