1. You're gonna wanna watch this. I promise. Only 1:33 long. You can do it. Hilarity.
    Not gross. Safe for work. Go!
    http://youtu.be/X5-rGN0ou_4

    Your phone *will* get dropped/lost/stolen/old/crappy and you *will* lose your data. You'll have to ask everyone for their number. Again.