i had a girlfriend once with whom i had a good relationship with up to a certain point. then it reached that point where we started falling apart and we tried to fix it and it wasn't happening. so we should've let go then. but we held on for far too long after that. that remaining time was prolly the worst time of my life. lots of lines were drawn in the sand. all of them were crossed. friends, mainly on her side but also on mine a little, were drawn in and caught in the crossfire. some of the meanest things that have ever been said to me, about me or by me were said during that time. and the thing is most of the things said were genuinely meant. so needless to say, i lost a lot of friends during the period over all that drama.
now, i'm back in the btown (home of all the drama) now. i've been back here several times since it all went down, but have always avoided the shows and spots where i might see 'the kids'. this time, however, things are different. i feel like enough times has passed that a) the kids that cared about whatever bullshit don't live here anymore, b/c its a college town and very transient with a high turnover rate or b) the kids that are still here that ever did care, don't care anymore. also, i dunno i feel really good about my life right. except for my girlfriend being 6,223 miles away from me. i'm happy with my living situation. my roomies are so radtackular. work is going well. the weather is my favourite time of the year. i'm starting to do some of those bigger projects i've been wanting to do. i'm paying off some debts. things are looking up generarlly.
and like spider-man said in spider-man: blue things always get worse before they get better. (now i know don't have to face down sandman, venom, green goblin/s, hobgoblin, carnage, doc ock, electro and a slew of other baddies, but i did live thru a couple shitty relationships, have had friend after friend sell me out or change their mind like the wind blows, lived with drug addicts, rednecks, assholes in general and have had my girlfriend move away, far far away more than once.) things got bad, real bad, for a while. now they seem to be getting better. i'm happy about that.
so i've derailed a little. i was saying basically it's been long enough and i feel good about my life that i feel like i can re-approach these friends. love lost but not forgotten, right? absolutely. we picked right back up where we left off. there were even the couple few that were on the opposite side of mean things said (by me or them) but none of it mattered anymore. we were bigger and more important than any other that. there wasn't any awkwardness from old drama. the only awkward was from just being different people than we were three years ago.
because there's nothing we can't do.
Song playing in iTunes while i made this post: Weelson-Feelips by Soophie Nun Squad.