No, I do NOT support the troops. Ever.

UPDATE: the comments got way out of control, so i turned them off.

My girlfriend, emily, got this email from some old high school acquaintance a while back. When she showed it to me, I immediately wanted to write up an inline response, but have put it off until now. Sorry. I'm the bad guy.

The text in bold is my response to each thing.Start email:

You hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes when the alarm goes off at 7:00.
He stays up for days on end.
No, I don't. Time is a system of control.
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
Again, no I don't. I wake up when my body feels like it has rested enough. Sometimes after a few hours, most times after more than a few. I shower rather infrequently, by choice. Our bodes have a way of finding equilibrium when we stop regularly subjecting them to things like soap.
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
That's the risk that the emperor's willing soldiers run. Maybe you shouldn't go to places where people shoot at you. Especially if you're carrying around guns and driving tanks through their neighborhoods. Maybe then they wouldn't shoot at you. Oh yeah, and I don't get headaches.
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
No, he doesn't. If he were doing that, he wouldn't be shooting people in Baghdad. No one in all of Iraq is telling me what I can't wear. In fact, the only people who ever told me (and enforced it) what I couldn't wear lived in Noblesville, IN. But in the larger sense, the people trying to tell others what they can/can't wear live decidedly in United States. Maybe his AR-15 should be pointed more of their direction if he is indeed "fights for your right to wear that shirt." Besides Freedom and 'Rights' can never be given only taken away.
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
Sounds a lot like the crusades to me. I hope your little cross helps to stop the bullets flying your way.
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
Maybe he shouldn't have left them to go kill people in Empire's war. Ever consider that? Hanging out with friends? Or killing people while constantly trying to not get killed myself? Gosh, that's a tough one.
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
Just look for the 'anti war/don't support the troops' t-shirts.
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow in the three digit heat.
See above about not going to some place where people want to kill you and have the guns to do it. Dummy.
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
That sounds like a bum wrap, man. Didn't the nice recruiter tell you that in the Army of One commercials. Just find a food pack on the ground next to the armor boost and weapons special.
You have a maid to make your bed and wash your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
Seriously, who has a maid?
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
Seriously, who goes to the mall to get their hair done? Take time out from kicking in one Iraqi family's door a day and you too could brush your teeth. Or just quit being an Army of One, then you could brush your teeth to your heart's content.
You are angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He is told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
School is just training us to be good workers as epitomized totally by being a good soldier doing 'exactly what he is told'. (See below.) Again, didn't your recruiter tell you about this as you were playing Halo together? No. That's weird.
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
Sounds like I got pretty good thing going for me, doesn't it?
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
See above.
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet
Seriously, why are you thousands of miles away from you baby and wife/girlfriend if they're so important to you? Do you think you baby understands the complex geo-politics of the Middle East? Or cares?
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.
Apparently, he doesn't remember 'the innocent tortured and killed' by his 'own people'.
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.
Man, it sounds like you don't make the best of decisions. Why go to all this hassle just to dodge bombs?
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
I wonder why the media doesn't want me to see 'the broken bodies lying around'. Maybe it's because fewer people would 'support the war' and even fewer than that would want to go fight it.
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told.
You know who else did exactly what they were told to do? Nazi gas chamber attendants. Blind obedience does not a virtuous person make.
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
Would you rather being watching TV? Not me. I'd rather be outside, talking to my friends, sleeping and eating both sound better than TV to me. Seems like the two (wanting to watch TV and wanting to go to another country and kill people) go hand in hand. Like cops and cars.
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be woken by gunfire.
See above about driving through neighborhoods in tanks.
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him.
If only there were more men like him!
Ugh.

If you support your troops, re-send this to everyone you know. If it gets to another veteran who hasn't received it yet, it will bring back memories.Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G.I.One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

End email:I'm not quite sure what a 'defining force' is, but let me get this straight. The American G.I. is on par with Jesus Christ? Gosh, man. Arrogant much? Maybe people with such a god complex shouldn't have guns. I asked for neither one to die for me. I would appreciate if people wouldn't equate dying for what they believe as dying for me. Especially when it involves killing before dying.Here is my solution. Every soldier who wants to die for my freedom, do that. Put a bullet in your own head instead of someone else's.

WOW! I am ashamed, as a fellow American, that you wrote that. It's cruel and heartless. You might've just deleted it instead of pointing out to the world your ignorance and lack of humanity that you're attemting to disguise as humanity. Wow. I love that you wrote that, but I would have just deleted that email. PORTLAND! Listen dude, whoever you are. As an airman in the United States Air Force Delayed Entry Program, I feel ashamed to be living in the same universe as you. Your unappreciation for military service members is embarrasing and cruel. Why don't you go tell the dead members of the Revolutionary Continental Army what you thought of them serving and making America free. Had it not been for them, we'd still be under English control and you might not have been able to write what you did. Leave the country you raging liberal and go to hell while you're at it. Even illegal immigrants are more appreciative than you are you arrogant bastard. I hope that you one day realize what a blessing it is to have such brave members of your Armed Forces you selfish, heartless individual. You're a disgrace to mankind. Look ignorant ass I don't agree with this shit. I take this on a religous stance. Both the Old Testament and the Koran talk about War... Judaism and Islam propagate the notion of the War God, a God who it is said sends human beings out to war for various reasons, it is the 'Just War', the 'Holy War' ('jihad'). Many Christians talk about a 'Just War', but the Gospel of Jesus is the Gospel of Peace, there is not a single verse or an attitude in the New Testament to justify any bloody War. Jesus changed the whole attitude on warfare: For a Christian, the answer to any war will be to "turn the other cheek"...To Peter, and to you and me, Jesus said: "Put your sword back in its place", because Jesus will bring the sword, Jesus will take care of you, because “vengeance is mine,” says the Lord (Mat.5:39, 26:52, Rom.12:19). And God is not partial!.. He will treat the people of Israel in exactly the same way: "God said to the Israelites, 'Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the aliens living among you must not do any of these detestable things, for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you.'" (Lev.18:24-28). So Joshua's war of total destruction is a final judgment of God against these nations. God has always reserved this right of judgment. Those who object to it here would object, no doubt, to the Flood (Genesis 6-7) and to the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19). Modern man does not believe that anything that he does is worthy of death. But the Bible has a different view. It teaches us that God is the Moral Judge of the universe and that sin is not just a preference, but active rebellion against God. you do know that the bible is all made up, right? it should be filed under fiction. (psst... fiction means not true) if you want i could feed you a bunch of quotes from doctor suess books. ps. you are awesome. Nigga you atheist faggot since you want to go there, let me tell you what God and The Bible has to say about faggot ass non-believers. The Bible itself purports to be the infallible, divine revelation of truth, revealed by the very Creator and divine Ruler of the entire universe. In your Bible, one is quoted, claiming that He is God, speaking in the first person, saying that He can make and unmake nations, that He can carry out His judgments over millennia of time, claiming that He can foretell infallibly the future of cities and empires, but that no man can 19 year old Jeff from Lorton & Richmond, Virginia is on fire, folks. 2 for 2 from the field now. seriously, where do these people come from? HA! Alright "Shaners." Since you're really starting to piss off my man Jeff, I think I'll intervene. You and your retarded ass remarks make you look like an idiot. Have you graduated high school yet? If so, go the hell back. Your obviously an uneducated functional idiot who appreciates nothing in life. There's no group of people that I hate more than atheist liberals. Why live that way? Look at your faggot ass picture...an ice cream cone? Come the fuck on man! What are you, suck buddies with the of this blog page? You find it fun to criticize God and the military? Well FUCK YOU! okay, it's gotten to a point where I have to say a few things about the load of bull shit that is being said about not supporting our troops. Usually, I just ignore the ignorant remarks of those who know truly nothing about the sacrifices people make every day in order to be able to enjoy what we have in the US, but when its begins to involve shit involving God and that the troops bring it on themselves, I have a few choice words to say. First, with the email and the responses, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT???!!!! HUH??!! I don't see YOU having to balls to be able to defend our nation. So, what gives you the right to be able to insult those who do? "I asked for neither one to die for me. I would appreciate if people wouldn’t equate dying for what they believe as dying for me. Especially when it involves killing before dying. Here is my solution. Every soldier who wants to die for my freedom, do that. Put a bullet in your own head instead of someone else’s." You don't have to ask someone to die for, but just know that if they DIDN'T die for you, this country would be in chaos and an easy target of terrorism. I hope you get blown up in a car bombing. Maybe then you'll ask for someone to defend this nation. As for putting a bullet in their head instead of someone elses, FUCK OFF! If they didn't put that bullet in a terrorists head, the terrorist would've put a bullet in YOUR fucking head. And do you even believe in personal rights? Because apparently you don't. Soldiers die for personal freedoms, and since you don't believe in what they die for, you don't believe in personal freedoms. So why don't you go off to some foreign country and be locked away in a jail cell for expressing yourself freely? Not done yet.... "You put on your anti war/don’t support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends. He still fights for your right to wear that shirt. No, he doesn’t. If he were doing that, he wouldn’t be shooting people in Baghdad. No one in all of Iraq is telling me what I can’t wear. In fact, the only people who ever told me (and enforced it) what I couldn’t wear lived in Noblesville, IN. But in the larger sense, the people trying to tell others what they can/can’t wear live decidedly in United States. Maybe his AR-15 should be pointed more of their direction if he is indeed “fights for your right to wear that shirt.” Besides Freedom and ‘Rights’ can never be given only taken away." Freedom and rights can be taken away, but thanks to those that actually have the balls to defend our country, they are not taken away. If our soldiers had not stood up for our rights and freedoms, we would still be stuck under foreign rule and I'm sure you would not have the freedom to insult soldiers online in this idiotic manner. Soldiers fight to avoid losing control of our country. If soldiers don't fight or die for our...YOUR... personal rights, you would not be in any condition to post such shit like this. And as for "shaners" or whoever the fuck you are...go blow yourself. And as for "where we come from," you faggot asshole, we come from the honorable society of this nation. Apparently, you want nothing to do with this nation or otherwise you be supportive of those who fight for it. As Mike said, go back to school. Come talk to mewhen you've pulled your head out of your ass. I don't care what you think of the war on Terror (Iraq and Afganistan for those of you who didn't know that) FREEDOM ISN'T FREE The men and women of the US military put their lifes on the line to defend you and the American way of life O right, the first Amendment gives You the right to freedom of speech, religion, assembly, and to petition the government that is were your right to wear the shirt that opposes the war comes in the men and women of the military defend the constitution so that you have the right to oppose what they do. Now please go take a decent government class so that you actually know what is going on in this country its amazing what you might learn. Wow your response was indeed brutal and cruel, but it doesn't mean it is without merit. Any of you who criticized this blogger must only stand up for freedom when it is your freedom. Dissidence and protest is the part of Democracy that makes DEMOCRACY work. If you think the troops are in Iraq to support only pro-war Americans, you don't really understand how this all works. Kelsey: you reminded me of something Ann Coulter recently said; she mentioned she hopes John Edwards is killed in a terrorist attack. Besides being completely evil, it implies that you, like Coulter, believe in terrorism as long as it suits your needs. As long as they take out people you don't like and not people you DO like (or people you don't know) it is acceptable. You see, standing up for your principles like the hypothetical soldier in this story means standing up for them even when you disapprove of who they benefit. Also, Mike T, it's "you're." Becker, it is "it's" not "its." Also, sentences really shouldn't be 5 lines long. To the blogger: while I don't agree with the zero sum attitude you take towards this war, I think your point of view is no more or less valid than anyone else's. If you want to believe the soldiers are defending our freedoms, they are defending yours as well as all the hostile response writer's freedoms. If you want to believe the soldiers are there arbitrarily, your points are still just as valid as well as those of everyone else. I actually feel sort of sorry for you for having brought on such ignorant responses, though. Wow this is the biggest BULLSHIT blog ever, apparently you don't know jack crap about ANYTHING. I'd love to meet you in person, too bad you don't live in northern VA or do you??? Hit me up anytime you want your fucking ASS kicked www.myspace.com/unclemoney Listen metadnauseam, you little German fucker. This is a fucking blog you retarded shit. And speaking of grammatical mistakes, "Democracy" should be "democracy," since it's not a proper noun. So get YOUR shit straight before you try to correct others. Also, who the fuck are you to judge others including myself? "Ignorant responses?" You're the little prick who thinks he knows everything. Go get a life and don't ever call me by my name again. You don't know me like that and if you're interested in an ass-whoopin', hit me up www.myspace.com/mikethomp2007 and I'll make sure you get what you deserve. Whatever nationality you may be, you're obviously not a true American in support of the War on Terror. Your shallow and unjustified thoughts show how much of a damn idiot you are. Oh yeah, also, it's "point-of-view" smart one, not "point of view." You look Asian in your picture...possibly Japanese? Perhaps you support the Americans bombing the shit out of you in WWII. I feel more sorry for YOU come to think of it. You had enough balls to come on here and say some ignorant shit like that. Think before you criticize you unpatriotic asshole. Your freedom and my freedom? It's OUR freedom dingleberry. Why don't you go join the fucking French Foreign Legion if you think we should have separate freedoms. And fix up the grammar in your first paragraph. You don't write worth shit and there should be a comma after "wow." Who's the sucker now shitface? Get at me if you have the balls...or perhaps they haven't decended yet? correction: descended Let's see, Mike Thompson, 18 and joining "the troops?" I can see the reasoning behind your fanatical devotion. Admirable, but it still doesn't warrant personal attacks and racism-driven hostility. If you would care to review my response you will see no swearing, racism, or hostility; you will see only my opinions about the ignorant responses left for the blogger. I absolutely stand behind stating that anyone who makes a slight such as, "I hope terrorists kill you," needs to learn a few things about freedom of speech and expression. Standing up for a war against terror means standing up for those with whom you disagree in addition to those who share your own opinions. Standing up for your way and no one else's means you are pretty much the same as the terrorists. Why would I support the bombing of Japan when I clearly don't support the war in Iraq? I am a supporter of the Just War Theory and jus in bello "rules" of conduct while in war. Waging war against Japan in World War II was justified, although the extent of damages and amount of civilians killed was questionable. I am, however, thankful that America helped rebuild Japan following the devastation. I will refrain from making any further mechanical or grammatical corrections since it is true, I left a sloppy response. Though, you should still know your latest comment is full of errors. This statement is for Chris Tagliati and Mike Thompson: I do sincerely admire your courage in joining the armed forces, particularly seeing as how you come from the one of most privileged parts in the country, Northern Virginia. Mike: Five days until you leave for basic? I do wish you a safe return from whatever action you see, and hope you return with a little bit less hate in your heart. [...] Link [...] I think I see what metadnauseam is trying to say, his just war theory has me confused walk me through how a man useing WMDs (Nuclear, Biological, and CHEMICAL Weapons) is not justification for going to war. The last time a dictator gased his own people the US stood by and watched until Pearl Harbor when the US joined the allies and kicked Hitlers ass. Unfortounatly the SS had already killed 11 million people just because of what they were (Jews, jipsys, homosexuals, blacks, mentaly and physically retarded people). His work towards getting nukes wasn't exactly good news either if he had them or not if Saddam had them Iran would have been a much hotter place with DC and NYC right behind it. But besides removeing a homosidal soceopath from control of a country which happens to be right in the middle of one of the most influencial parts of the world your right we didn't have a reason to go to war. I'm not shore but last time I checked the US troops in Iraqs #1 goal is to stabalize the coutnry and train the military and police force to return control to the Iraqi people just like we did in Japan (PS That took ten years and they didn't have the fun of IEDs and US troops are still in Japan working with and helping train the Japanese defense forces) Yes! I love that you idiots are picking a fight on myspace. This is the funniest series of blog comments I've ever read. "The family that prays together, stays together"? "Aim high"? "I serve the United States and am in the US Army, I'm proud to defend our countries freedom and I would die to defend it"? Gimme a break. I think the three of you (Tagliati, Mike, Jeff) should fight each other to see which one of you should fight "shaners" with his ice cream cone. Fuck off