<p>but not today.</p>

<p>i've had this thought percolating for quite some time. years even. but i didn't want to believe it. for all the obvious reasons. but i've given in. so i've finally admitted to myself that i believe one of those feelings i've had for way too long without listening to.</p>

<p><span><em><strong>you shouldn't wait for girls.</strong></em></span></p>

<p>
  don't wait for them to call you.<br>
  don't wait for them to come over.<br>
  don't wait for them to start liking you.<br>
  don't wait for them to stop liking the sceazebags that they do.<br>
  don't wait for them to start recycling.<br>
  don't wait for them to believe that civilization is coming to a glorious crash.<br>
  don't wait for them to become vegan.<br>
  don't wait for them to stop asking you to go to church.<br>
  don't wait for them to get back from another state.<br>
  don't wait for them to quit their job.<br>
  don't wait for them to stop cheating on you.<br>
  don't wait for them to get back from another country.<br>
  but most of all, and i know i've said it before,<br>
  don't wait for them to call you<br>
  because. they. won't.
</p>

<p>these are the lessons i've been taught over and over by lots of girls in my life. the bigger let down is not the lessons, but how fucking long its taken me to learn them.</p>

<p>i've also learned that hearts aren't made of glass, they're made of muscle and blood and something else. and they don't so much as break as bend and tear. we have what it takes to keep it together; and move on. but i often believe that they're like a red christmas ball and are fragile.</p>

<p>i knew i would do this, but i forgot some <a href="http://veganstraightedge.com/articles/2005/11/19/2/top-ten-records/">glaringly obvious additions to the list</a>. here they are, which i know puts me over top ten (11).</p>

<ul>
  <li>rage against the machine : s/t</li>
  <li>gorilla biscuits : start today</li>
  <li>avail : one wrench / over the james</li>
  <li>youth of today : disengage</li>
  <li>bold : looking back</li>
  <li>boy sets fire : the day the sun went out</li>

</ul>but most importantly there two demo / EPs of friends’ bands from tallahassee, fl. they were:<ul> <li>i have dreams : three days before christmas</li> <li>a new kind of american saint : take a shit</li> </ul>they were only 15 and 16 years old when they recorded the i have dreams stuff. and a few later on the ankoas stuff. i have dreams was so powerful and emotional for me every time i saw i was moved to tears. and not “oh, i’ve got something in eye” tears, more like full on weeping. those bands are sooo good and never really released that i’ve decided to give you their songs right here. please, download and share. you can find their lyrics here and here.<ul> <li>i have dreams</li> <li>three days til christmas</li> <li>countless rooftops</li> <li>in good hands</li> <li>i don’t imagine you and i anymore</li> <li>thank you for having the courage to help a friend change his life for the better</li> <li>a new kind of american saint</li> <li>intro</li> <li>don’t let these tight pants fool you, i’m all heart motherfucker</li> <li>there’s only one rule in this town (aka knock knock knocking on mosh’s door)</li> <li>jesus wasn’t straightedge, but i am</li> </ul>

<p>these are all .m4a files. which means they'll definitely play in <a href="http://www.apple.com/itunes/">iTunes</a> which if you don't have you're silly. and they will prolly play in some other players, too.i have dreams was so amazing that i once sat on a greyhound for 30 hours followed by another 6 hours in a car from philly to tally to see their reunion / last show on december 22, 2001. seriously, i showed up 3 minutes before they went on. watched the best five songs of my life. immediately turned around and left. my dear friends leslie and kate from atlanta were around for part of that adventure which was great. i think we stole some flags from yards, too. it was right after 9-11. good times.</p>

<p>Currently playing in iTunes: <em>Holding Out for A Hero</em> by Frou Frou</p>

  

        
  yeah, I was suprised there was no ratm in there.  and zero hip hop?  weird, shane.  also, have you seen that fuckin' suv add with CIV's "Can't wait one minute more" in it?  it made me wanna break something.  so I punched ingrid in the nose.  she was a little upset.

      
        
  ps.  I can't believe I left these two out of my top 11...here's 12 and 13
  12.  Helmet - Meantime
  13.  Curb - demo

      
        
  thanks for posting the tallahassee love.

  did you ever get to hear new ethic?  (or, i guess xnew ethicx?)

  that was the band of most of the ihd kids before ihd.

  joshua*

      
        
  When i listen for the very first time to I have dreams, a "freezing" feeling come to me, i can say now that demo is one of THE records of my life, everytime i listen it, the same feeling came to me.

  im Pablo Noel, from a little country called Chile, on the Bottom of South America, i dont remember exactly the date i listen for the very first time the demo but think i have 17 or 18, i have straight edge from the 14/15 years old, now im 23 and still have it, and never regret of it, i say this just for the record, one song can make a change in places who we never imagine.

  cheers.

      
        
  I find it extremely weird that at 6:30 in the morning on December 22nd 2005 I suddenly get the urge to search I Have Dreams in google unaware that it was the same date as their reunion show 4 years ago...thats odd. Whats even more odd is that you said you took a car ride from Philly all the way down South to get there 3mins before they go on then leave right afterwards because my friends Ian and Maria also drove to that show from Philly and got there right before it started and left right afterwards...thats pretty amazing, anyway if you wanna chat or something you can message me on aim:hxcchris.

  -Chris

      
        
  how do you know the dudes from ankoas? who do you know?  hardly anyone i've met has even ever heard of those bands and they are two of my favorites. one because i know some dudes and two because they are so goddamn good! thats pretty awesome though, and good of you to post the songs for download. spread love, its the brooklyn way!

<p>i got a mac mini. it's going to be replacing my existing web server for <a href="http://veganstraightedge.com"> this site </a> and for <a href="http://zinedistro.org">zinedistro</a> (which i hope to be re-re-relaunching yet again). both are currently running on a beige g3 233mhz with a 4gb hd running mac os x 10.2.8 (the highest it can go). so a head's up. sometime in the relatively nearish future, there might be a window of downtime. i know both of you that read this regularly are gonna be bummed. so i apologize deeply and sincerely.</p>

<p>but did i mention mac mini? eh, eh?</p>

<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/veganstraightedge/153385628/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/67/153385628_7ef8249137_o.png" style="width:400px;" alt="mac mini back"></a></p>

<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/veganstraightedge/153385645/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/70/153385645_eb8f5e6940_o.png" style="width:400px;" alt="mac mini front"></a></p>

<p>Currently playing in iTunes: <i>Things We Say (Written By Gorilla Biscuits)</i> by Defiance, Ohio</p>

<p>so, i've been thinking about doing this for quite some time and i've been slowly putting it together over the past couple months. which means that i'm fairly sure i'm not forgetting glaringly obvious additions to the list. and yes, i know that i have two against me! records. well, eff you. i couldn't decide which i liked better. so they're a package deal in my book. they are in no particular order. and <em>EVERYONE</em> knows that top ten lists have 11 items. duh.</p>

<ul>
  <li> <a href="http://www.propagandhi.com/records/">propagahndi : less talk, more rock</a><br><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/veganstraightedge/153388033/" title="Photo Sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/48/153388033_9f9611bc1a_o.jpg" style="width:200px;" alt="less talk, more rock"></a>

</li> <li> refused : the shape of punk to come
</li> <li> by the grace of god : perspective
</li> <li> minor threat : discography
</li> <li> snapcase : progression through unlearning
</li> <li> operation ivy : discography
</li> <li>against me! : as the eternal cowboy / reinventing axl rose
</li> <li> saves the day : through being cool
</li> <li> at the drive in : in / casino / out
</li> <li> kid dynamite : kid dynamite
</li> <li> sleater-kinney : dig me out
</li> </ul>

<p>so what are yours? please add them in the comments.</p>

<p>Currently playing in iTunes: <i>Slurring The Rhythms</i> by Against Me!</p>

  

        
  I'll give you my top ten most important albums...these albums changed/saved my life and made me who I am today:

  (in no particular order)
  01.  Nirvana - Bleach
  02.  They Might Be Giants - s/t
  03.  Screeching Weasel - Boodgadaboogadaboogada
  04.  Gorilla Biscuits - s/t
  05.  Propagandhi - Less Talk More Rock
  06.  Candiria - Surrealistic Madness
  07.  Mr. Bungle - s/t
  08.  V/A - Soundbomin' 2
  09.  Vandals - The Quickening
  10.  Green Day - 1039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hour

  Honorable mention:
  01.  Cypress Hill - Black Sunday
  02.  Dead Kennedys - In God We Trust Inc.
  03.  Dead Prez - Let's Get Free
  04.  Between the Buried and Me - Silent Circus
  05.  Earth Crisis - Destroy The Machines
  06.  Hagfish - Rocks Your Lame Ass
  07.  NOFX - Punk In Drublic
  12.  Nuclear Rabbit - Vicuna
  13.  Teen Idols - s/t

  ps.  Have you seen that car add with CIV's "Can't Wait One Minute More"?  It made me wanna throw up.  gross.

      
        
  Here are my top "ten" most important albums.  They changed/saved my life and made me who I am today.  Of course there are boat loads more, but these are the top ten (in no particular order):

  01.  They Might Be Giants - s/t
  02.  Nirvana - Bleach
  03.  Screeching Weasel - Boogadaboogadaboogada
  04.  Gorilla Biscuits - s/t
  05.  Mr. Bungle - s/t
  06.  Various Artists - Soundbombing 2
  07.  Green Day - 1039 Smooth
  08.  Snapcase - Progression Through Unlearning
  09.  Propagandhi - Less Talk More Rock
  10.  Candiria - Surrealistic Madness
  11.  Bad Religion - Suffer

      
        
  n8.

  i feel like all of these make perfect sense to me for you. we overlap a bit and that makes sense. if i made a 'mixtape' using just those records i would see you in chord and drum beat.
  xo.

      
        
  01. The Weakerthans - Left and Leaving
  02. Refused - The Shape of Punk to Come
  03. Propagandhi - Today's Empires, Tomorrow's Ashes
  04. A.F.I. - Black Sails in the Sunset
  05. The Mountain Goats - Tallahassee
  06. The Misfits - American Psycho (I know, I know, but I'm being honest)
  07. The Misfits - Static Age
  08. Emperor - IX Equilibrium
  09. Saves the Day - Stay What You Are
  10. NOFX - Punk in Drublic (It's my first punk album, kinda started everything)

      
        
  6lack sa66ath, masters of reality
  screeching weasel, kill the musicians
  propagandh, less talk more rock
  DRI, thrashzone
  converge, petitioning the empty sky
  weakerthans, fallow
  rage against the machine, (self-titled)
  dead kennedys, frankenchrist
  dissection, storm of lights bane
  bouncing souls, argyle 7"

      
        
  top ten records in no particular order probably is...

  TRIAL- are these our lives

  SAGE FRANCIS- personal journals

  BOUNCING SOULS- hopeless romantic

  AGAINST ME- reinventing axl rose

  ACID BATH- when the kite string pops

  MISFITS- earth ad

  DEAD KENNEDYS- bedtime for democracy

  GORILLA BISCUITS- s/t

  MURDER CITY DEVILS-in name and blood

  RISE AGAINST-  the unraveling technically since thats what got me started listening to them but their newest record "siren songs of the counter culture" is their best

  OPERATION IVY- discography (of course)

      
        
  In no particular Order.

  1.  Refused - The Shape of Punk to Come.

  2.  HORSE the Band - R. Boralax

  3.  Godspeed you Black Emperor! - F#A#oo

  4.  Mono - Formica Blues

  5.  Rachel's -  Selenography

  6.  A Silver Mt. Zion -  He Has Left Us Alone But Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corners of Our Rooms

  7.  From Ashes Rise - NIghtmares

  8.  Minor Threat - Discography

  9.  Scholastic Deth - Revenge of the Nerds EP

  10. Misfits - Static Age

      
        
  Some of these I don't really listen to anymore, but they're still really important to me.

  1. Trial - Are These Our Lives?

  2. Gorilla Biscuits - Start Today

  3. Unbroken - Life. Love. Regret.

  4. Defiance, Ohio - Share What Ya Got

  5. Against Me! - Crime/Axl Rose

  6. Minor Threat - Discography

  7. Refused - The Shape of Punk to Come

  8. Operation Ivy - Energy

  9. Youth of Today - Disengage ep

  10. Discount - Half-Fiction

  I left so much out, like the bands that introduced me to this music in the first place - green day, saves the day, and later on earth crisis, good clean fun, strife, chain, the pist, tragedy....and current favorites like rosa and the pipebomb. Top ten, booo.

      
        
  If shane can add more, than I feel I can add just three more.

  Black Eyes - Black Eyes

  At the Drive-in - Relationship of Command

  Stars of the Lid - Gravitational Pull Vs. the Desire for an Aquatic Life

  ....and that's that.

<p>look, i know. i'm very very behind on updating it. which is what has kept me from blogging other things. i felt like it would be too discontinuous. but some other things have been percolating to the fore. so there it is. the rest of the trial trip journal will be up soon. maybe this weekend? i don't know. i don't know if i'll have enough time.</p>

<p><img src="http://static.flickr.com/32/62085383_11a47885ba.jpg" alt="friends don't let friends draw their own x's." style="width:400px;"></p>

<p>Currently playing in iTunes: <i>Lean On Me</i> by Bill Withers</p>